


can i really say the love i believed was destiny was nothing but an illusion?

by fir8008



Category: Keyakizaka46 (Band), Re:Mind (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, Canon Compliant, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Pre-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fir8008/pseuds/fir8008
Summary: Five memories about Kyoko and Ayaka's relationship, and the end.





	can i really say the love i believed was destiny was nothing but an illusion?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I binged Re:Mind yesterday and though I had some mixed feelings about it I really thought that Kyoko and Ayaka were the standout characters and actresses in the show. I loved their subplot and so I wanted to write a bit of their pre-canon story. 
> 
> This contains spoilers for the show as a whole, particularly episodes 9 and 10.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Title comes from "Still Walking" by Keyakizaka46, Re:Mind's opening theme.

_ one _

 

Kyoko knows she isn’t pretty. She’s always known that. Or maybe it’s just because she’s always been told that. She’s too brash, too tomboyish, too boyish, too loud, too this; too that. So Kyoko knows she’s not pretty.

But Takamoto Ayaka. 

Takamoto is pretty. She’s so pretty. Her eyes, her nose, her lips are all pretty. Especially her lips. They’re plush and usually shiny and a little red and Kyoko maybe thinks about Takamoto’s lips a lot. Takamoto is pretty in the way Kyoko will never be pretty but that’s okay. That reality sits well with Kyoko as long as she can watch Takamoto for just a little more. 

But Takamoto. 

Takamoto looks at Kyoko with her pretty eyes and sinks her teeth in to her pretty lips and wrings her pretty hands too nervously when she says it. 

“Saito-san, you’re really pretty.” 

And Kyoko’s heart speeds up. 

  
  


_ two _

 

Ayaka is the one who initiates it. Kyoko should maybe have predicted this considering how oddly Ayaka was acting right after the tweet debacle but part of Kyoko was too afraid to hope. 

Ayaka takes Kyoko’s hands in hers. Kyoko’s heart races. 

“I like you,” Ayaka is steady. There’s no wavering. She holds Kyoko’s hands firmly. Her voice doesn’t shake. Her dark eyes bore into Kyoko, staring straight into her. “I like you as more than a friend.” 

“I like you too,” Kyoko says, hoping her voice is just as steady. “I like you as more than a friend too.”

The smile on Ayaka’s face makes Kyoko’s heart swell. Kyoko’s heart is still pounding when Ayaka throws herself into her arms. 

“Thank goodness,” Ayaka’s voice is trembling now. “Thank goodness. I like you so much but I didn’t know if I was brave enough to confess but I had to, I just had to tell you…” 

Kyoko pulls away so she can touch Ayaka’s face and stroke her hair. Ayaka’s eyes are glassy but her smile is so broad. Kyoko smiles back and steps back into a hug, clinging to Ayaka as tightly as she can. 

  
  


_ three _

 

Kyoko fights with wrapping paper for far too long but she still presents the gift proudly to Ayaka. Ayaka’s eyes glitter with curiosity. 

“What’s this?” 

“A birthday present.” Kyoko answers. 

Ayaka gasps when she rips open the wrapping paper. She picks up the purse carefully, holding it appraisingly with just her fingertips. Kyoko’s lips quirk up a little proudly when Ayaka turns to her with a smile. 

“Kyoko!” 

“Pretty girls should have pretty things,” Kyoko says, feeling a little bit flustered when Ayaka leans over and throws her arms around Kyoko’s shoulders. 

“It’s beautiful,” Ayaka marvels. “Kyoko, thank you.” 

Kyoko squeezes Ayaka happily. 

  
  


_ four _

 

They get matching rings too small for their ring fingers. They wear the bands on their pinkies, not only to be a little less obvious about them being couple rings, but also because they made a pinky promise when they bought them. 

“Let’s live together after graduating,” Kyoko says as they bring their thumbs together. “That way we can always be together.” 

Honestly, it’s a vague promise. Kyoko doesn’t really know what she wants after graduating. Graduating itself is still far away. But the smile on Ayaka’s face and the way her cheeks flare up pink as she nods are enough to make Kyoko promise anything. 

  
  


_ five _

 

Kyoko lays her hands on Ayaka’s hips and Ayaka cups her face as they kiss. Ayaka’s lips are so soft and plush against Kyoko’s. Kyoko never wants to stop kissing her. 

Maybe it’s not smart to kiss here, where someone could walk past and see them, but Kyoko can’t help it. She loves Ayaka too much, Ayaka loves her too much - why can’t they just kiss here? 

Kyoko tightens her grip on Ayaka’s hips as she pushes up on her toes to deepen their kiss. Ayaka brushes hair off of Kyoko’s face and brushes her thumb against Kyoko’s jaw. 

Someone clears their throat. 

Kyoko’s protective instincts flare up quickly, trying to figure out how to hide Ayaka’s taller frame behind hers, but they die down just as fast. 

Kyoko has never felt so cold seeing the smile on Miho’s face. 

  
  


_ six _

 

The room changes them too much. They turn against each other too much. They remember too much. Mirei wanted them to remember, but they remembered too much. 

They change too much. 

And sure, Ayaka is unreasonable when she suggests setting the room on fire, but maybe Kyoko is more unreasonable when she tries to stab Hayashi when he was still masked. Maybe Kyoko was too reckless asking Ayaka to stab him while Kyoko baited him. Maybe in their game of bait and catch, Ayaka was just better bait. Maybe Kyoko is too reckless when she drinks the bitter cola in Ayaka’s place, but it was her fault that Ayaka was caught. 

Like it was Kyoko’s fault for getting Ayaka into trouble with Perfect Justice. 

Mirei goads it out of them. How did she know what Miho did that day? How did everyone find out they were dating, like Memi said? How did things get out of hand like this? 

Ayaka confesses to getting Miho’s dad in trouble. Then the water comes. 

Kyoko’s heart is thundering. She’s sweating. Ayaka is going to disappear like everyone else. She says she’s going to vanish. Kyoko clings to her hand, both of them clammy with sweat. 

“I won’t let go of your hand,” she says desperately. 

The lights start to flicker. Kyoko thinks she needs to kiss Ayaka goodbye, but this isn’t goodbye, it can’t be goodbye. They have so much life left, how is this fair? Ayaka says she kept meeting men for money so she could save up so they could live together. They have to be together for the rest of their lives. It can’t end like this. 

The lights go out. 

When they turn back on, Ayaka has slipped through Kyoko’s fingers. Kyoko sinks in her chair and puts her head on the table. Unable to process it, so deeply in shock she can hardly cry, can hardly hear Memi yelling at Mirei for making everyone disappear. 

There’s nothing left. 

Nothing is worth it if Ayaka is dead. 

So Kyoko remembers. 

Kyoko confesses. 

And the water comes. 

The lights flicker. 

Kyoko doesn’t fight her fate. She looks at her ring. The scent of Ayaka’s hand is still on hers. She closes her eyes, ready to meet death. She rests her hand against her cheek; holding it close. If Ayaka is waiting on the other side, it’s all Kyoko needs to die gracefully.

The lights go out and Kyoko embraces the darkness. 


End file.
